Growing up, what were your dreams? You wanted to go to the best university and be a doctor by 22, have a beautiful family by 25, drive a big car by 25, retire by 28 and merry till you die, right? Look at you now, 20 with baby mama/ daddy issues, 22 with relationship drama, 25 with staggering grades in campus, 26 with a number of kids whose mothers/ fathers you don’t even talk to, 28 and jobless living hand to mouth, heck some of you are 30 and still living with your mama! Welcome to the harsh reality that is life. See, life isn’t a steady escalator. Sometimes getting better requires that you first get a lot worse. If you can’t admit to yourself that you suck at something, chances are it will hold you back from future improvements.

Truth is ‘sucking’ is part of the success journey. How can we be great if we are so freaked out about being or not being the greatest? When we dare, when we excavate and find the extra ounce of courage that moves us forward to just go for it, we expand. No matter the outcome. We feel this intense pressure to have all As, the perfect bottom, abs and brows, all the right answers, and we miss the opportunity to expand. Risks are thwarted. Just in case we stink, we stand still. Dead End. What are we so afraid about? Losing? Looking ridiculous? Messing up? Being Remarkable? Failing?

We have been taught to go for the best and nothing but that. Right from kindergarten, we are pushed to be first in class; second isn’t good enough, we are taught to have straight A’s; Bs are not a maximum exploitation of potential, we are taught to avoid drugs; using and abusing drugs is for losers, we are taught to get to the best high schools; if you don’t make it to Alliance High School then you don’t have a bright future ahead and so on. Since when is daring and then failing include earning a B? No wonder we are all stunned by fear and lean toward staying immobilized rather than a dare. How can we make progress with the obstacle of achieving perfection in our way? This future freaking epidemic is freaking me out. What are we trickling down to future generations?

It is important to understand that hitting rock bottom can actually work in your favour. Our lack of coping skills to deal with this type of stress is alarming. Articles, friend’s expressing concern, statistics of lost dares, suicides, depression and anxiety are too commonplace for kids and grownups alike, kids taking meds of friends to stay focused and increase test scores, most of us are not sleeping enough, not daring for fear of failure, we collectively believe it’s not ok to suck at something, at the first chance we try, scares me. I want for it to mean something when we learn from our daring to come closer to knowing who we are. I want the courage to dare, to matter more than the potential failure of doing so.

Therefore, that dead-end job; decide to own that you suck or get out of your comfort zone and start your enterprise, that dull relationship; move on to something better or stay and admit you suck at dating, that out-of-shape body? Keep living an unhealthy life or wake up and start a healthier lifestyle. So what you do; cut the denial, face your pain, start from the bottom and find an anchor, something that gives you self worth and toils your way to the top. Remember, Leah Lacono once said that life sucks, but you have the option to sit there and cry about it or you can simply move on and become stronger.


  • Posted May 6, 2019 9:38 am 0Likes
    josephine cheptoo

    Dear Joan,
    kindly keep the flame

  • Posted May 6, 2019 5:44 pm 0Likes

    I choose to dare, as long it doesn’t kill…it’ll definitely make me stronger

    • Posted May 7, 2019 7:54 am 0Likes
      Disi Mugoa

      Definitely!!! Sowe, dare to be better. Trust me, it will make you a better person than you are now.

  • Posted May 6, 2019 10:14 pm 0Likes

    Nice one ….loved it

  • Posted May 8, 2019 11:10 pm 0Likes
    Joan Nyakongo

    Thanks Disi for this great article just what I needed on this Birthday…been too afraid to suck up but now I know better
    Keep it up and God bless

    • Posted May 8, 2019 11:21 pm 0Likes
      Disi Mugoa

      Anytime girl. Honored that it came through for you. Keep your head up 🙂

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